you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
