I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
