I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Welp...herpes.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
