ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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