go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
