That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
