I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I would fuck him just for his dog
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
