forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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