come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
