The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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