i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
