he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
