Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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