So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
