so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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