If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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