can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
