Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
