i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
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