he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
