my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
