Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
