In the future we'll all be gay
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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