look no pants
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
