woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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