words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
