wrigley field is MILF paradise
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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