I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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