Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Iw0nderwhatsn3xt hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(315): View more from New York

I think im going to throw up on grandma

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(773): View more from Illinois

Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?

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(518): View more from New York

i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.

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(509): View more from Washington

I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM

(909): View more from California

I'm scared to ask why.....

(509): View more from Washington

1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.

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