no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
