Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
