I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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