you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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