Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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