and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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