I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
