Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
