she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
