You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
