: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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