Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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