Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
