508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
MIDGETS
????
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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