At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
