I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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