you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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