does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
