maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
