Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You are a genius and a whore.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
