He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
