I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
