Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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