The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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