Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
