So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
