But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The maid of honor just puked.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
this beer tastes like vomit already
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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