he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
We smell like vodka and hangover
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