Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
