wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
