that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
