Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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