I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
